So I was driving today, and I heard this song that Matt Hammitt from the band, Sanctus Real, wrote. He wrote it as a tribute and promise to his unborn child who they knew was going to born with a heart defect, but as I listened, it spoke to me in another way. As humans, we all have problems and weaknesses. As Christian parents, when our kids (especially teenagers) begin to show their, let's just say, not-so-nice side, we have to decide how we're going to respond.
Sometimes the way our teenagers act bring out the not-so-nice side in us, too. Discipline is necessary in parenting no matter what form it takes, but what do we do with our hearts? What do we do when our children disappoint us, make us angry, even go through spells when we may not even <gasp> like them very much? How do we handle it? Sadly, we tend to hold our hearts back. We fall into a form of conditional love without even realizing it. Our kids let us down or don't do what we think they should do so we pull back. We don't want to get hurt again. We want them to just "grow up" and make all the right decisions. We get angry, frustrated, embarrassed. We get hyper-critical of every choice they make. They should KNOW better. They've been TAUGHT better. They should be making better choices, Godly choices. We don't know how to handle it so we hold back a part of hearts in a move of self-preservation that comes across as conditional love. I'll show you my love if you please me, but if you don't, I don't want to have much to do with you. I'll tolerate you because I'm your parent, and I do love you, but that's about it.
I don't have all the answers, but I know this, we are commanded to love one another. There are no exclusions to that command. We are to be merciful and gracious as Christians because the Holy Spirit resides in us. We can't keep holding back with our kids. We have to just keep laying our bruised hearts on the line. Yes, we may continually get hurt and angry, but we have to take that to Yahweh Rophey, The Great Physician, and let Him heal the broken parts in us. This may be for me only, but if you're a parent and you're dealing with older children that are beginning to go their own way, and that way is not that path you think they should be on, take a minute to read the chorus below. Then seek the only Perfect parent, God the Father, and let Him help you love them the way they need to be loved by their parents.
MATTHEW HAMMITT - All Of Me lyrics
Afraid to love
Something that could break
Could I move on
If you were torn away?
And I'm so close to what I can't control
I can't give you half my heart
and pray He makes you whole
(Chorus)
You're gonna have all of me
You're gonna have all of me
'Cause you're worth every falling tear
You're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love
Even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me is where I'll start
I won't let sadness steal you from my arms
I won't let pain keep you from my heart
I'll trade the fear of all that I could lose
For every moment I share with you
Chorus
Heaven brought you to this moment, it's too wonderful to speak
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me
So let me recklessly love you, even if I bleed
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me
**If you've never heard of the song, you can listen to it hear:
Sometimes the way our teenagers act bring out the not-so-nice side in us, too. Discipline is necessary in parenting no matter what form it takes, but what do we do with our hearts? What do we do when our children disappoint us, make us angry, even go through spells when we may not even <gasp> like them very much? How do we handle it? Sadly, we tend to hold our hearts back. We fall into a form of conditional love without even realizing it. Our kids let us down or don't do what we think they should do so we pull back. We don't want to get hurt again. We want them to just "grow up" and make all the right decisions. We get angry, frustrated, embarrassed. We get hyper-critical of every choice they make. They should KNOW better. They've been TAUGHT better. They should be making better choices, Godly choices. We don't know how to handle it so we hold back a part of hearts in a move of self-preservation that comes across as conditional love. I'll show you my love if you please me, but if you don't, I don't want to have much to do with you. I'll tolerate you because I'm your parent, and I do love you, but that's about it.
I don't have all the answers, but I know this, we are commanded to love one another. There are no exclusions to that command. We are to be merciful and gracious as Christians because the Holy Spirit resides in us. We can't keep holding back with our kids. We have to just keep laying our bruised hearts on the line. Yes, we may continually get hurt and angry, but we have to take that to Yahweh Rophey, The Great Physician, and let Him heal the broken parts in us. This may be for me only, but if you're a parent and you're dealing with older children that are beginning to go their own way, and that way is not that path you think they should be on, take a minute to read the chorus below. Then seek the only Perfect parent, God the Father, and let Him help you love them the way they need to be loved by their parents.
MATTHEW HAMMITT - All Of Me lyrics
Afraid to love
Something that could break
Could I move on
If you were torn away?
And I'm so close to what I can't control
I can't give you half my heart
and pray He makes you whole
(Chorus)
You're gonna have all of me
You're gonna have all of me
'Cause you're worth every falling tear
You're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love
Even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me is where I'll start
I won't let sadness steal you from my arms
I won't let pain keep you from my heart
I'll trade the fear of all that I could lose
For every moment I share with you
Chorus
Heaven brought you to this moment, it's too wonderful to speak
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me
So let me recklessly love you, even if I bleed
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me
**If you've never heard of the song, you can listen to it hear:
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